Even though I am sure you've heard the story of your journey into our family many times, I am going to write it down so that you have it for your records. (The first part of the story is written the same as it is in your sister's letters.)
Your father and I were married on May 27th of the year 2000. Even though I wanted children, I was determined to finish college before starting a family. We lived in a very small apartment that we could barely afford, and we both worked and went to school full time. I knew that I wanted to finish school before becoming a mother, and I knew that my decision was sustained by the Lord.
In 2004, I graduated from college. We were still poor and working, but we wanted to have a family. We knew that if Heavenly Father wanted us to have a family, He would provide a way for us to support our family. So, with faith, we began trying for a baby.
At first we thought it would be easy. Everyone around us would decide to have a baby, and the next month or two they were pregnant. Why would it be any different for us? So every month we would hope and pray that I would get pregnant, but each month we were disappointed. The doctors made us try for one year before they would do any tests or help us.
After one year of trying, the doctors began doing tests. They used all different methods to try to help me get pregnant, but none of them worked. Each time we would try a new test, I would think, "This is going to work. I will give it just a few months, and I will finally get to be a mom." After four more years of being poked and proded, four more years of having my hopes and desires crushed, we decided to stop seeing the doctors. I admit that I began to wonder if I would ever have the opportunity to become a mother. I felt discouraged and frustrated. I thought to myself, "Does Heavenly Father think I won't be a good mother? Did I miss my chance because I waited to start a family?" I realized later that these thoughts were Satan's tools of keeping me in a state of despair.
For comfort, I would read my patriarchal blessing. In the blessing, it states that I will "lead my children to become righteous sons and daughters of God." I always had to remind myself of these words when I would feel hopeless at the prospect of becoming a parent. Later in the blessing, it reads that I will "look forward with anticipation to the birthing process and even the pain associated with bringing new life into the world." Even though I had read these passages many times before, I had not noticed the placement of these phrases until many years later. I thought it was strange that Heavenly Father would tell me all about being a mother at the beginning of my blessing, but wait until the end of the blessing to talk about my labor pains. I realized that there was a reason for this placement. I received a strong impression that I was supposed to adopt. Your father and I discussed it and prayed about it, and he too received revelation that adoption was the answer for us.
As you know, we adopted your sister on August 26, 2010, and her story is written in her letters. Your story continues four months later. In January of 2011, your father and I were talking about adopting again. We were already certified to adopt, and we thought it would be nice to have two children close together. About two weeks later, I realized that I was a few days late on my cycle. I went to the grocery store and purchased a pregnancy test, but thinking in the back of my mind that it would come back negative. "Don't get your hopes up," I kept telling myself in the car on the way home. I didn't even tell your father I had purchased it because I didn't want to disappoint him again. I went home and took the test, and I was shocked when it looked like this:
I held the test behind my back and walked over to your father who was sitting on the couch. "I got something at the store today," I casually told him. I then held up the test in front of him. He sat and stared at the test with a look of wonder and confusion. After what seemed like a very long 30 seconds, he looked up at me and said, "Really?" I nodded with a huge grin, but it took him a while for the news to sink in and become real to him. We called our whole family and immediately told them the good news. I couldn't stop smiling every time I would think about you growing inside me.
I want you to know how many prayers were said on your behalf. So many people were praying and fasting for you to come to this earth and be in our family, probably more people than I even know about. I know that all children are a special blessing, but I feel like you were hand-picked for me by the Lord. Some people have children as a result of natural consequences, but you are truly a miracle given to me at this time with a specific destiny to fulfill. I also know that your sister was supposed to come to our family first and be your big sister. I feel so blessed that the Lord has his helping hand in our family, and I am so grateful to him for giving me you.
Love,
Mom
