Meekness Is Not Weakness

Dear Ella, Charlie, and Lily,

This letter to you is one to show you that I am not perfect, but I can be perfected through Christ.

I really believed that after watching other parents and teaching in a classroom for so many years that I knew all of the answers about parenting.  I knew what it took to be a great mom, and I was promised that I would be a good mother to my children. Of course, like so many other things in my life, I thought that my greatness would just flow naturally.  I would have babies, and poof, I would be perfect.  Sadly, that is not what happened.

In the three years of being a mother, I feel that there are many times where I have failed at my job.  There was a period recently where I felt as though I was losing control of my home and my children.  Temper tantrums were rampant, you three were hurting each other: biting, kicking, screaming, pushing, scratching, you name it.  When I would tell you to do something, you would disregard my commands until there was a threat attached to it.  You wouldn't listen to me unless I used my "angry voice."  In an attempt to take control back of my home, I decided to fight fire with fire!  I was not going to allow my children to behave this way, so I fought back.  I started yelling and spanking in hopes of becoming the boss, the master of my house.  My whole life I have been so passive that people have walked all over me.  I couldn't be a doormat for my children.  You needed discipline!  I felt completely justified for my actions.  While trying desperately to gain control, I completely lost control..

After a few months of this, I knew that my home was not what I wanted it to be.  I wanted to have peace in my home, but I didn't feel as though being soft-spoken would solve the problem, in fact, I was sure it wouldn't. I didn't know what to do, but I knew that what I was doing wasn't working. It was then that I started praying for help.  I was reluctant at first because I already knew that yelling and spanking are not the Lord's way. Because I knew that was not what he wanted me to do, I started asking questions like, "What tone of voice should I use to discipline my children?  How can I learn to control my anger?  What kinds of consequences might be effective to change their behavior?"

I wish I could tell you that immediately after I started praying for help, I stopped my bad behavior, but I didn't.  I had to repent every day for losing my cool, but I kept trying to be better every day.  Then in October, we had General Conference.  Although I didn't hear all of the talks live, I read them later.  One of the talks stood out to me as an answer to my prayers.  It is titled, "Be Meek and Lowly of Heart" by Elder Ulisses Soares.  As soon as I read it, I knew it was meant for me.  He states, "Meekness is the quality of those who are 'Godfearing, righteous, humble, teachable, and patient under suffering.'  Those who possess this attribute are willing to follow Jesus Christ, and their temperament is calm, docile, tolerant, and submissive . . . Being meek does not mean weakness, but it does mean behaving with goodness and kindness, showing strength, serenity, healthy self-worth, and self-control . . . Upon acknowledging our dedication and perseverance, the Lord will give us that which we are not able to attain due to our imperfections and human weaknesses."  I have read this talk many times over the last few months, and I know that the words in it are true.  I can't say that you children obey me all the time, but I can say that I feel like I have more control over myself.  My home is a much more peaceful place than it was.  I feel better about myself and the kind of mother I am since reaching out to the Lord for help.

I want you to know that I love you three so much.  My goal and my desire is to someday be a perfect mother to you.  Unfortunately, you have to forgive me while I'm working on that goal.  I know that with the help of the Savior, all things are possible. I'm so grateful for our church leaders who are prayerful about what talks to give at General Conference so that I can be inspired to be a better person.

Love always and unconditionally,

Your humbled mom

Disneyland!

Dear Charlie,

This year for Papa’s birthday (May 9th), your Nana and Papa took us all to Disneyland!  You absolutely love Mickey, but you can’t say “Mouse,” so you call him “Moose.”  Anytime we would see Mickey you would shout, “MOOSE!”  You’re so stinkin’ adorable.

We rode some rides at California Adventure as well as the Magic Kingdom.

 

 

You took a nice long nap in the middle.

And you got to meet Mater.  You didn’t know about Cars then, but Mater is now one of your favorites!  You watch Mater’s Tall Tales on Netflix everyday.

And you were a good little boy the whole day…as long as we supplied you with some chocolate milk here and there.  I think your favorite part was getting to talk to Crush from Finding Nemo.  That was your favorite movie at the time, and you were so excited to see him.  You were pretty annoyed that you couldn’t get out of your seat and go touch him though.  You also liked the submarine ride because it too had scenes from Finding Nemo.  You must get your love of ocean reefs from your Daddy.

I had such a fun time watching your cute little face light up every time you saw a character you recognized.  I think the next time we go you will appreciate it more because you have new Disney favorites like Cars, Dumbo, Toy Story, and Monsters Inc.  It will be a whole new experience for you when you are old enough to go on some of the other rides too. 

Before we left, your Nana bought you a little set of rubber Disney characters that had Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, and Pluto.  Since our trip to Disneyland, you have to go to bed with at least one (but usually two) of these little characters.  Oh, I love you my little Disney boy!

 

Love,

Mom

Devin Gerard Griffiths

Dearest Charlie,

While I was searching for the words, this is what I came up with:

Devin taught me to appreciate family, life, the Lord, temple covenants, and all of the little things that make life sweet.  He did so much for me and many, many others in his short beautiful life.  We love you so much Devin.

Love,

Auntie Shelley

What's Grosser Than Gross?

Dear Charlie,

When I was a kid, we used to play this game called "what's grosser than gross?" You would then give two gross scenarios and the other person would have to pick which they would rather have happen. For example, what's grosser than gross: finding a band-aid in your burger or biting off your big toe nail? You get the idea?

Well, I thought we could play a little "what's grosser than gross" with all of the things you have put in your mouth. Here we go:

Fruit snacks that have fallen in the dirt

A cigarette butt

An old soda can you found at the park and tried to drink out of

The toilet brush

The toilet plunger

Dog poop

Money

Hair brushes

Straight up dirt (and you kept going back for more)

Dog food

Pond water infested with mosquito larva

Ella's potty training seat (I swear you thought it was a teething ring)

Bubble soap

My flip flops (not just the shoe, but the little plastic part that comes out of the bottom is your favorite) 

Bullet shells

Crayons

And those are just the ones that I have caught you eating. Who knows what else has been in your mouth.

I do realize that this letter is just as much (if not more) a reflection on my parenting skills. Hey, I was pregnant and slow for most of your experimental phase. I still give you kisses even though I know what's been on those lips. Now I'm going to go and brush my teeth. Gross Charlie!

XOXOXO,

Mom

Easter 2013

Dear Charlie,

This was your first Easter where you were big enough to participate in the festivities, which was a lot of fun.

On Saturday, we decorated eggs.

   

On Sunday, we looked inside our Easter baskets.  Thanks Nana and Papa for the cool stuff! You especially loved this tube of mini M&Ms.  You were shaking it around the house all day.

   

Then we went outside to hunt for eggs.

  

Then we played with the bubble maker that the Easter Bunny left for you.  You’re a little bit like that fish on Finding Nemo . . . “Bubbles, Bubbles, Bubbles!”

 

We had to take pictures of everyone in their new sunglasses too. 

And one with me in it.

Later that evening, the Adams family came to visit!!!  Lindsay’s niece who lives in Phoenix was supposed to have her farewell that Sunday.  At the last minute, she decided not to go on a mission, so we got to have the Adams family come to our house for Easter!! 

 

On Monday evening, we invited some friends to go out to the desert and blow stuff up in honor of the Adams coming.  It was Clint Stuart’s birthday, so Brandt and Lindsay bought him a cake and put a bomb inside of it so that we could blow up the cake.

  

We had some BBQ.

Shot some guns

And then we blew up our old dryer.  We learned that if we ever do this again, we need to either take the door to the dryer off or face it away from the crowd.  The door to the dryer flew through the air and nearly took out a car and a few people.  Thank goodness a prayer was said before the festivities so no one was hurt.

The next day, the Adams went back to Phoenix to spend time with their family.  We had some fun outside before saying, “Good-bye.”  It’s always a party when the Adams come into town.  We sure do love them and their beautiful family.

 

 

 

Love,

Mom

Yuma County Fair 2013

Dear Charlie,

This is the first year you were able to enjoy walking around the fair.  You started out stuck in the stroller, but you grew tired of that quickly.

You loved looking at the animals and trying to climb up their stables.  (You’re such a little monkey!)

 

You, Dad, and Ella got to ride on the ferris wheel while I stayed with Lily and took pictures.

 

Next we went to the petting zoo.  You had tons of fun chasing all the animals around and letting them eat from your hand.  We had to take you out a little early because you kept trying to pick up the chickens by their necks.  Oh Lenny, we love you!

It was such a fun day, and you were so happy the whole day.  I can’t wait for you and Ella to get bigger so that you can go on the rides at the fair.  I love your cute smiling face Charlie!

Love,

Mom